The Internet turns dating into a numbers game that puts Vegas to shame. Write a kick-ass ad that’s sure to stimulate the warm juices and send them to 300 potential mates. Unless you’re a hopelessly ugly loser you’re sure to get handfuls of high quality game for target practice. The more you shoot the better your aim. The better your aim the more you kill. That’s a Shakespearian metaphor you lowbrow. The love of your life may be living next door to you, and the only way you’ll find out is via the wireless web. Never has it been so easy  to score.

Especially if you’re willing to look beyond your little eggshell of an existence and scour the world. Millions of 18 year old girls from poor developing countries like the Philippines or somewhere in Africa are looking for anyone under the age of 85 with money enough to secure a comfortable existence for her and her family. Like I said, never has it been so easy to score. Female? Never in history have there been so many men willing to help with the chores, take out the garbage, do the dishes, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are when you have gained 50 pounds, share “50%” in childcare. Hell, these guys are dying to breastfeed. Thousands are doing it every day, making international dating sites one of the web’s fastest growing markets.

Don’t be a tool, use them.

Computers and the Internet grow more complex every day. E-mail, chat, video sharing, comments, pingbacks, blogs, mobile phones, sms, rss, forums, social bookmarking, buzz, links; never have there been so many ways to woo the one you love. I can’t describe in words the thrill of having an 18 year old Philippino princess put your profile in her favorites! Score one for the Gipper!

Free Dating Sites

Another great think about online dating is that there are many free dating sites on the Internet. Sure, you have to pay for most of the good ones, but if you’re smart, you can use a lot of the social web 2.0 sites to meet quality people. Sites like Linked in, Facebook, etc.

Best of all, you don’t even have to be yourself. Airbrush your photo like so may others. Who cares if he’s shocked when he meets you? He’ll see your inner beauty, right? And that old marriage that failed miserably? Hell, out of sight out of mind! Who’s going to do a real background check? Only the smart ones. We’re not going for the smart ones Leroy. We’re going for an ass that refuses to stand down. As for your history, it’s as wild as your imagination is strong. Remember that 3 month stint unloading boxes from the delivery truck until you were caught smoking weed with the delivery guy on break? Regional Sales Manager my man!

Remember,  the new age gurus say you are who you believe yourself to be. Think it, believe it, act the part and tag, you’re it!

I Am Who I Want to Be!

Enhanced by Zemanta